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Strategies To Support Thinking With Your Eyes

12/2/2018

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​Nili Geldwert, M.A. CCC-SLP and Julie Pike, M.A., CCC-SLP
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Make eye contact! - this is a popular phrase that many parents and educators use to get a child to look and focus on someone. There is good intention behind this and both parents and educators have the same goals when they give this directive. The goals are to have their child/student look at someone to gain information; look at someone because it is socially expected to when talking and listening; and to look at someone as a sign of respect (in American culture). However, for many individuals on the autism spectrum they find this to be physically uncomfortable and therefore counterintuitive to the goals of making eye contact. According to Jeanette Purkis, an individual on the autism spectrum, as well as an author and passionate advocate for individuals on the autism spectrum, “Eye contact makes me feel threatened, I may not look you in the eye but that doesn’t mean I’m not taking in what you are saying.” Research also supports that it is difficult for some people on the autism spectrum to have two sensory inputs work simultaneously, therefore making one input suffer.

But, we cannot deny that eye contact is not important in our New York City culture and beyond.


​So….how do we address this, while still respecting our clients’ sensory needs? At Social Adventures NYC, we focus on teaching social communication strategies instead of discrete social skills trials. Our philosophy is based on dynamic and organic experiences and the associated positive and negative natural consequences. For example, when you are not attending to someone’s facial expression and/or body language, you miss valuable information from the speaker and might miss out on something fun. According to Professor Mehrabian’s research, he discovered the following communication model: 55% of communication is body language, 38% is tone of voice, and 7% is the actual, literal words spoken. Of course, every communication event is unique, so therefore this cannot blindly be applied, but it is important to acknowledge and to take a moment to think about the impact this has on your child. The best way to try to relate to this, is thinking about going to a foreign country and not understanding what eye contact means in that culture. You may take a few days to observe and feel a bit uncomfortable, but then quickly figure it out.  In contrast, our clients need support in understanding what comes intuitively to us.

Here are some ways in which we help our clients think with their eyes in therapy. We utilize specific language to highlight and encourage the use of thinking with their eyes to gain information and to communicate a message.
  • Check in: This is a term that Michelle Garcia Winner, Founder of Social Thinking,  coined. It implies orienting your body towards the person who is communicating a message. For example, if a friend calls your child’s name, you can say, “Check in with Leo, he is telling you something.” This clues your child to turn around and face Leo and get his brain ready to receive the message without you telling him to directly turn around.
  • Read the clues: This is a term we use to help clients use their eyes to look around and gather information. We connect this language to the 5 Ws, which is a common educational tool used in school to teach reading comprehension. It includes the following: who is in the room, what is going on, when is this happening (time, sequence of activities), where are we, why is this happening? After they gather this information, what can they do next with their actions and words?
  • I see/notice…: This strategy is called declarative language which is used to state what you see as opposed to asking a question or giving an instruction. Many children on the spectrum are used to either being told what to do or being inundated by questions, “Who should you be looking at now? “What should you be doing?” By using “I see/notice”, this invites the child to look at the speaker / communication partner. For example, “I notice Leo is holding a ball and maybe he wants to play catch.” This gives the child the opportunity to independently orient his body and use his eyes to look at Leo to determine if that is what Leo wants to do.
We recognize this is tricky. It isn’t automatic and can be frustrating since it is a slow process. However, we are giving our clients these opportunities to use these tools and feel successful, in turn become internally motivated to make a connection with someone else and hence want to try to use them again. It is important that you praise them with encouraging words when they use their eyes to gather information and to highlight the natural positive consequence as a result of using it. If we take the example given above, the boy got to play ball with Leo, and not because he was told to, but because he noticed and read the clues. How wonderful for him to have a taste of social success!

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contact

Julie Pike & Nili Geldwert
info@socialadventuresnyc.com
917-575-2906